As we are preparing to move to a new country and a new home, the biggest challenge is to decide and figure out what to do with all the stuff we have.
Furniture, tools, decorations, hair pins, make-up, shoes, towels, cables, gadgets etc – what do we keep and what do we sell? what do we pack and what do we give away or sell?
Since I’ve started this process of sorting, putting into categories, selling and trying to understand what to do with the rest, I’ve been having a certain feeling of futility. And sadness.
I mean, I have only 2 years and a half since I’ve moved from my home in Bucharest, packing just some boxes and a Tv and now I find myself with a ridiculous amount of stuff to pack again. I could blame my partner but in reality he’s got only one big box of papers, video games, his clothes and a few pairs of trainers. More than 70% of this house it’s made of my stuff.
Clothes and shoes are my biggest problem, I admit it. Also trinkets, cool coffee cups, essential oils and carpets. Let’s not forget about the make-up, hair conditioners, glitter, body lotions, face creams and nail polish.
As I look at it all I realise I’ve been accumulating in these 2 years and a bit probably more or as much as back when I lived in my own flat. And now, I either have to pay a lot of money to move it to the other side of Europe or I have to give it up. I’m basically losing money either way.
A couple of days ago my boyfriend started to freak out about having to sell at stupid prices the wardrobe, the bed with storage room, the cool mattress. It would be too complicated to take them with us and way too expensive. ‘But we’ve had them for less than 2 years and we spent so much money on everything cos we wanted to get good things!’
I really get where he’s coming from, I do. And at the same time, I know it’s just objects.
But what truly makes me sad is the actual cost of what I am doing – constantly buying clothes and chucking the ‘ old’ . ones, throwing away things that we haven’t used and know we won’t just because it was an impulsive purchase, the plastic covering all the packages of these purchased goods going into the bins, the enormous consequences of this shopping habit that I know it’s made by big companies to bring in profit.
What makes me sad is the fact that I know where all this comes from. I know very well the deceitful feeling of gratification when getting my Amazon Prime box. I know the mental priming created by social media feeds and influencers’ sponsorships. I know that fashion industry is one of the biggest polluting industries at the current moment. I know Ikea , for example, is taking advantage of the shady Romanian political system and purchasing forests for supplying their business. And I know all this is only made make us look away from the feeling of emptiness and dissatisfaction within, believing that stuff will make up for the void inside.
So as I am sorting out things and putting them into boxes ‘ to keep’ and ‘ to give away’ , I wonder how much impact has my own shopping habit is creating on this planet. And more importantly – how do I know that in the next experience I won’t be doing the same?
Thinking about my next flat in Helsinki I saved boards on Pinterest, tens of pictures on Instagram and even created a virtual shopping list on ikea.fi. Because the next place will be even better than this one! It will be even more my style. But what is my style?
Honestly, I have no idea. My first place in Bucharest was very Provence romantic with shabby furniture, all white and blue, feminine and sweet. In Barcelona, I’ve created a cosy, bohemian den with ethnic prints, strong colours and quite a mix of pieces of furniture. The next flat I imagine it borrowing the neatness and order of Scandinavian interiors, playing in black, white and greys. Maybe just a little powder pink for my own personal space…
So in truth, I have no idea what my style is. And because I work with products, because I see thousands of inspiration pictures, styles, interior design trends every damn year…I just don’t know anymore what is mine and what is just cool because it’s hot this season.
I also love beautiful things and that’s why I’ve been in this business for so long. The colours, the fabrics, the shapes – everything inspires me, it makes the world just..better. But the question is: when does the appreciation for beauty turn into a harming habit both for myself and at long, for the environment?
I have no answer to this yet. Maybe this very experience is meant to bring me some answers, some clarity over the decisions I make and the way I choose to live. And hopefully, it will get me from this: